Behind all these mortifying incidents is a deep misreading about what is advisable behaviour in the workplace.
Almost every bruising trip to HR – or the industrial tribunal – can be partly blamed on our modern obsession with connecting in the workplace. (Who hasn’t had to endure an unbearable event or trip in the name of ‘bonding’?)
But it is difficult to draw the line between professional and personal when being well-liked by colleagues is obviously A Good Thing.
The younger generations are particularly starry-eyed about workplace relations because of their innate desire to please, combined with their lack of obvious roots and responsibilities. Graduates who are new to jobs and even cities need allies in a period where they would otherwise feel isolated.
Plus, work brings people together and creates intense relationships. Research by Lancaster University in 2013 found that friendships formed in the workplace are closer and more emotional than any other due to the challenges and stress shared by both parties.
The distinction between co-worker and friend is hazier than ever
Today, the distinction between co-worker and friend is hazier than ever, worn away by shared lunches, pub trips on Friday (or should that be Thursday?) and endless matey emails. All this has been exacerbated by a rise in ‘excessive’ working hours (up 15% in the past five years, according to the TUC) and the rise of mobile technology and social media, with many of us now messaging colleagues day and night.
Taking into account the occasional tricky gender politics that can happen in most offices, you’ve got every reason to err on the side of caution. The financial PR Robert Kelsey says he aims to behave like a country solicitor in all his communications: friendly but not too familiar. A good journalistic motto on legal issues can also be applied to judging conversation topics: if in doubt, leave it out (and also ask yourself if you would be embarrassed to see your comments on social media splashed across the news). Take your own lunch break, like a wise former colleague of mine did without fail every day. Quit the party while you’re ahead.
In other words, leave them wanting more, not less.